was sparring with some dude today. he kept going full speed and the trainers kept telling him to slow down. "ok right ok" he'd say, and i'd throw light and slow, and then OH SHIT he's throwing haymakers at me, driving full power leg kicks and is jumpy like cracked out motherfuckers. "slow down, relax..." bam, leg kick to the balls. in spite of the cup it definitely registers. i take a minute to make some adjustments to my testicles and go back to sparring. this guy's seriously trying to take my fucking head off. "alright, all in." i figure, and launch a hard straight to his body and come up with a hook to his head. he tries to clinch after i land but i circle right and throw a rear cross with my right that lands behind his ear. i take a boxing stance and walk through his leg kicks to land better power with my hands, then BAM kick right up the middle into my balls. i fucking crumple and try not to throw up. the trainers all try to be polite about it to the guy when he's apologetic, but when he comes and pats me on the head i push it off and tell (whimper at) him to get fucked.

goddamn it, temper again. i forget that the thai culture has no respect for anger; they only respect being polite. it's just weird and embarrassing to them when someone gets angry.

it takes me a while to get to the point where i can stand. douchebag is sparring with one of the trainers who tells him after every combination "ah, slow, slow..."

eventually i spar with oron for a bit, working against waves of nausea and his superior technique. we go a few rounds (he manages to not kick me in the nuts and i return the favour), and then senchai asks if i want to spar a bit.

fuck yes. light me up dude.

he obliges. he's so fucking fast and sees almost everything i do. his counters are perfect; my boxing defense is usually pretty okay but he makes me feel like i don't even have arms. his movement is impeccable. i land a few jabs and feel like the fucking champ of the world but he's just cataloguing, analyzing, waiting. he starts countering off my jab, making me tentative to throw it even though my hands are really my only weapon. what the fuck am i supposed to do, kick this guy ? haha.

fuck it, i kick him. it lands. "oh, heyyy," he announces, and his eyes light up at how unexpected it is. i land a grand total of zero more while he continues landing on me. any time i throw to his body he catches it and immediately hammerfists the quad. it doesn't hurt but we both know those are actually elbows in the real world and that they in fact hurt quite a lot.

we spar a couple of rounds, he dominates me everywhere, but afterward he tells me i have great technique. i'm sure it's what he says to all the boys but i still feel like a fucking champ again. thanks senchai.

douchebag comes over to apologize again and i tell him he's an asshole in spite of trying my absolute hardest not to. that doesn't go so well. thanks a lot, temper.