kicking your trainer in the face on your first day: bad.

kicking your trainer in the face on your first day twice: worse.

i got off the plane at 12.30 local time. i locate my bag and go to meet my ride.

"hey ! hey !" i hear as soon as i'm out the door.

easier than i thought i immediately think smugly, then disappointedly wonder at my stupidity. yeah dude, your ride in thailand knows what you look like somehow.

i turn around to a guy waving a taxi rate sheet in my face.

"taxeeyee !!" he accuses me.

"nah, nah i'm good i have a ride." i explain. he probably doesn't understand and if he does, he doesn't care.

"taxeeyeeee !!" he demands more pointedly and i almost begin to suspect he wants me to take him somewhere.

"no ! no thanks !" i say, and step out of the building. i'm assaulted by the ridiculous heat, which up until now has been totally hidden by the overworked air conditioners. i'm immediately after assaulted by an onslaught of taxi drivers ALL insisting "taxeeyeeee !" at me. i'm reminded of night of the living dead, briefly fantasize about shotguns and then decide that's the wrong attitude to carry around on my first visit in the land of smiles.

"no thank you," i smile back as serenely as is possible through gritted teeth and look for someone with a sign with my name on it. the taxi drivers smirk at each other as time passes and i continue looking for the ride i'm convinced will show up. i give it a good half hour of "...maybe traffic ?" before i finally call.

"oh, did nobody show up ?" the lady asks.

by the time the cab i take arrives at the gym it's 2.30. i pay, get my room squared away, sign some forms, and the lady says, "there's a class at 3.00 if you like." ten minutes from now, after being in planes and airports for 40 hours. the hauntings of some of the food i've eaten in the last two days circles my face like the memory of the most regrettable person you've ever taken to bed, snickering cruelly at your terrible decision making abilities.

"what the fuck did you bother coming to thailand for ?" i wonder all the same. i go to my room, put my mouth and cup in/on and go kick the face the poor guy holding pads for me. his humour over the issue doesn't seem to carry forth past the first time.

rough start.